The Elves and the Shoemaker

There was once a shoemaker, who worked very hard and was very honest: but still he could not earn enough to live upon; and at last all he had in the world was gone, save just leather enough to make one pair of shoes.

Then he cut his leather out, all ready to make up the next day, meaning to rise early in the morning to his work. His conscience was clear and his heart light amidst all his troubles; so he went peaceably to bed, left all his cares to Heaven, and soon fell asleep. In the morning after he had said his prayers, he sat himself down to his work; when, to his great wonder, there stood the shoes all ready made, upon the table. The good man knew not what to say or think at such an odd thing happening. He looked at the workmanship; there was not one false stitch in the whole job; all was so neat and true, that it was quite a masterpiece.
The same day a customer came in, and the shoes suited him so well that he willingly paid a price higher than usual for them; and the poor shoemaker, with the money, bought leather enough to make two pairs more. In the evening he cut out the work, and went to bed early, that he might get up and begin betimes next day; but he was saved all the trouble, for when he got up in the morning the work was done ready to his hand. Soon in came buyers, who paid him handsomely for his goods, so that he bought leather enough for four pair more. He cut out the work again overnight and found it done in the morning, as before; and so it went on for some time: what was got ready in the evening was always done by daybreak, and the good man soon became thriving and well off again.
One evening, about Christmas-time, as he and his wife were sitting over the fire chatting together, he said to her, ’I should like to sit up and watch tonight, that we may see who it is that comes and does my work for me.’ The wife liked the thought; so they left a light burning, and hid themselves in a corner of the room, behind a curtain that was hung up there, and watched what would happen.
As soon as it was midnight, there came in two little naked dwarfs; and they sat themselves upon the shoemaker’s bench, took up all the work that was cut out, and began to ply with their little fingers, stitching and rapping and tapping away at such a rate, that the shoemaker was all wonder, and could not take his eyes off them. And on they went, till the job was quite done, and the shoes stood ready for use upon the table. This was long before daybreak; and then they bustled away as quick as lightning.
The next day the wife said to the shoemaker. ’These little wights have made us rich, and we ought to be thankful to them, and do them a good turn if we can. I am quite sorry to see them run about as they do; and indeed it is not very decent, for they have nothing upon their backs to keep off the cold. I’ll tell you what, I will make each of them a shirt, and a coat and waistcoat, and a pair of pantaloons into the bargain; and do you make each of them a little pair of shoes.’
The thought pleased the good cobbler very much; and one evening, when all the things were ready, they laid them on the table, instead of the work that they used to cut out, and then went and hid themselves, to watch what the little elves would do.
About midnight in they came, dancing and skipping, hopped round the room, and then went to sit down to their work as usual; but when they saw the clothes lying for them, they laughed and chuckled, and seemed mightily delighted.
Then they dressed themselves in the twinkling of an eye, and danced and capered and sprang about, as merry as could be; till at last they danced out at the door, and away over the green.
The good couple saw them no more; but everything went well with them from that time forward, as long as they lived.

Kidero, Shebesh to face charges after talks fail

 
    
 
Justice Isaac Lenaola on Monday allowed Director of Public Prosecution Keriako Tobiko to proceed with charges against Nairobi Governor Evans Kidero and Women Representative Rachel Shebesh.
This was after the two politicians failed to agree on a out of court settlement.
Lawyer Cecil Miller, representing Ms Shebesh, told the Judge that they had waited in vain for Mr Kidero to meet the terms for reconciliation.
He said Ms Shebesh is ready to face the charges.
Governor Kidero will be charged with assault charges after allegedly slapping Ms Shebesh during a scuffle at City hall in September last year.
Ms Shebesh will be charged with creating public disturbance.
Governor Kidero and Ms Shebesh were involved in a scuffle at City Hall in the full glare of the media.
The incident happened when Ms Shebesh, accompanied by aggrieved Nairobi City County workers who are demanding better pay, went to Dr Kidero’s office.
The governor had just returned from a meeting with visiting Nigerian President Goodluck Jonathan when he came face to face with Ms Shebesh, some members of the County Assembly and the workers.
The situation turned chaotic and it was then that Dr Kidero allegedly slapped Ms Shebesh before telling her off.
After the incident, both the governor and the Women Representative separately recorded statements with the police.

daily nation 10 august 2013

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Kenya craving the days Uhuru, Ruto will rule by Skype

One month from today,
the dress rehearsal for
the greatest show will
begin at the International Criminal
Court.
Deputy President William
Ruto will be sitting as a victim
at the International Criminal
Court, watching as his lawyers
demolish the fabricated charges
of murder, persecution and
torture against him. He will test
his Skype account by successfully persuading striking
lecturers, doctors and civil servants to return
to work or be forced to deal directly with President
Uhuru Kenyatta on their own.
At home, Kenyans in one voice will be praying for
him to overcome his trials, knowing it is only a purification
process in preparation for greater service.
Of course, the main show starts on November 12,
when President Kenyatta II will begin to deal with
his personal challenge at the ICC regarding the
numerous lies about murder, rape, persecution and
torture in the post-2007 election crisis.
Accompanied by his aide-de-camp, the President
will receive a red-carpet welcome outside the court,
complete with a military guard of honour. In the
courtroom, he will likely be surrounded by a digital
team of aides on Twitter, Facebook and MySpace
giving him minute-by-minute updates of how Kenya
is doing as his lawyers teach the ICC judges and
other Western imperialists a thing or two about international
criminal law.
Not one to waste a moment, the President is
likely to call for his iPad during court breaks to
greet his people on Skype. Kenya will be riveted on
television the whole time. What better time than
this to send out a message of peace and reconciliation.
In the meantime, the self-starter officials in the
Jubilee Government will be doing great running the
country. County commissioners and other officials
will be cracking down on illegal drugs, knowing
that when the President returns, he will need reports
on how many criminals they have locked up.
Since digital governance abbreviates everything,
decisions and speeches will take a fraction of the
usual time and effort. Online instructions should
be easier to carry out because they come without
the necessity to pose for television cameras. Since
everyone will know that the President is not watching
television, there should be a drastic reduction
in public demonstrations, street-based politics and
other attention-seeking behaviour. Only prayer rallies
praying for peace, unity and a just outcome at
the ICC will be necessary.
Strikers, especially teachers, who have been
distracting the government from the delivery of a
laptop to every Standard One pupil, will be forced
to spend more time learning how to Skype.
From his Twitter handle, the President will personally
supervise the construction of the 50-foot
bronze statue in honour of President Mwai Kibaki
to keep the budget within the limits of credulity. Of
course, the court will have to allow the President
and his deputy to take turns at leading the country
and attending trial.
During this time, civil servants will be receiving
their salaries a month in advance because Kenya
will be rolling in the billions from mineral earth
mining and bathing in crude oil from Turkana. For
example, if a fire breaks out at a major international
airport, there would be live video streaming of the
event and quick action. It would obviate the need
for the President to talk to that odious Barack
Obama about progress in putting out the fire. Regrettably,
the President would have to decline Mr
Obama’s phone calls, telling the receptionist to remind
the caller that choices have consequences.

10 FOODS FOR A GIGANTIC ORGASM..

1. Go green

And you thought, Popeye, the sailor man gulped cans of cans of spinach just like that! Well, it won’t be wrong if we tag spinach as a natural Viagra. This green leafy vegetable is loaded with sexual benefits. “It is rich in Vitamin E, which is a major catalyst in the production of sex hormones in the body. It is also rich in manganese, which facilitates the production of the female hormone estrogen. A deficiency of magnesium also affects a woman’s fertility levels,” informs nutritionist Aishwarya Rajan. “Green leafy veggies are also loaded with zinc, which is known for its libido and sperm production qualities men,” holds dietician Charu Dua.

2. Seeds of fertility 
Seeds like flaxseeds, pumpkin seeds, soybeans, chickpeas and sunflower seeds etc. are again friends of sexual hormones. “Consuming one tablespoon of flaxseed every day helps to increase the testosterone level in the body. These seeds are rich in Omega 3 fatty acids, a drop in which affects hormone levels leading to a plummeting sex drive. Pumpkin seeds are also rich in zinc which is a mineral needed to produce testosterone,” suggests Delhi-based nutritionist Sanjana Saikia.

3. S for Sea-food 

If you have an aversion towards the aqua-species, you better start loving them as they guarantee a smooth sailing sex drive. Be it fish or oysters, they contain the wonder sex drug in them! “Fish is rich in Omega-3 fatty acids, which fires up your metabolism, keeping you fresh. It’s also found to boost the hormone dopamine that lights up the brain’s pleasure system. Besides, it even contains Vitamin B that is linked to fertility. Oysters known for their aphrodisiacal traits are the richest source of zinc which nourish the prostate gland and boosts testosterone production in men,” explains Aishwarya.

4. Go nutty 

“All kinds of nuts provide one with energy that’s directly proportional to your stamina while having sex,” suggests Sanjana. So, feel free to consume your daily dose of nuts, including almonds, pistachios, walnuts, groundnuts etc. After all, stamina and energy are the driving force behind a satisfying sex life.

5. Fruity Pleasure 
All fruits, especially those rich in vitamin C can be vital in sexual gratifications. “The body needs vitamin C to keep the sexual organs fine tuned. Tests reveal that consuming 500-1,000 milligrams of vitamin C in a day increases the number and quality of sperm produced,” holds nutritionist Aishwarya. Some fruits which fall in this category include citrus fruits, specially kiwi, blackcurrants and strawberries.

6. Spice it up! 
The right kind of spices not only spice up your palette, but also your bedroom. “Chilli pepper, red chillies and ginger perk up blood circulation,” says Sanjana. So, dig into some spicy food when spicing up things between the sheets.

7. Dark chocolate 
You’ve got another reason to fall in love with chocolates, specially the darker varirties. Studies reveal that women who eat chocolate daily lead more sexually satisfying sex lives. “Chocolate contains a chemical called phenethylamine that triggers feelings of relaxation, intoxication and pleasure. It releases mood-boosting, stress-reducing serotonin and stimulates physical contact desires and lowers inhibitions,” explains endocrinologist Dr Pankaj Aggarwal. So, shun those weighty issues for a while and don’t shy away from gorging upon a piece or two of dark chocolate daily.

8. Bananas 
Bananas are a great sex food. “Bananas are ideal to give you endurance in the bedroom as they are a rich source of vitamin B that converts carbohydrates into energy. It also helps your body to produce sex hormones such as testosterone, “suggests Aggarwal. Having a banana a few hours before getting into action can keep you pepped up!

9. Olive oil 
Orgasm worries in women find an answer in olive oil, which triggers the production of the testosterone hormone. “A lack of this hormone can lead to lack of desire and sexual pleasure and an inability to achieve an orgasm. So, be liberal with monounsaturated fats like olive oil,” suggests Charu.

10. Garlic 
Though, you’ll have to take special care of your breathe before you get into some steamy action after having this wonder sex booster, but a “regular consumption of garlic in food can bring a marked difference in your sexual prowes

Diaspora

There are a lot of issues we as the diaspora need to address regarding how we live our lives in the diaspora. Some I’ve heard argue that they aren’t big on traditions and culture or the usual details of being named a representative of your family, country etc when you live in the Diaspora. Well, that is all within your right to decide on whether to take up or not, but if you decide to stay away from African/Kenyan/tribal culture and traditions make that clear to relatives as well before anything happens to you. Let me start on the truth before I get to this culture story.
My biggest issue is regarding the diaspora and truth, thus the title of the post (hehehe, I do try once in a while to have a title that matches the content). Back to the issue at hand. Diaspora and the lies we tend to feed our families instead of telling them the truth. It doesn’t matter what you tell your friends, it’s what you tell your family that matters, and from my point of view your family requires to hear the truth about the kind of life you live here.
If you visit most diaspora forums, you’ll always read stories of people complaining about the relatives and sibling who think money grows on trees in your German car, as they keep asking for more money for the most useless stuff and keep increasing the cost of the basics. Well, I blame you, yes you the diasporan for this issue.
When your family thinks you live in one of Palasts in Germany; own a private Chateaux in France and a fleet of lamborghinis and porsches; it’s no wonder your sister wants you to finance the helicopter meant to pick her up during her wedding. Why not? You own all that, you can share the private jet with your sister can’t you?
Many of us create burdens where there should be none. Did you come to Germany as an au pair then stuff went the wrong way and you ended up underground? Did you come here to study but became overwhelmed and instead decided to quit? Are you a student, au pair, FSJerIn with little to no money to spare even for your own luxury? Did you end up in a heim, as an asylum seeker? All these things happen, and that’s just a passing season in your life but let your parents and siblings know about it so that they don’t end up demanding for stuff you can’t even dream of let alone afford.
You don’t need to tell friends, they might judge you and make you feel even worse, but tell your parents atleast. Your parents have no choice, they are stuck with you regardless of what choices you make…..be real with them.
This will also apply to your feelings about your traditions, and culture. Do you think it’s backward that they insist they bury you in Kenya/Africa? Tell them, now that you are still healthy and dialogue with them so that you can come to a compromise. I know Africans are generally afraid of talking about anything pertaining to death. Remember when Shikuku dug his grave? Everyone called it an abomination. I remember one of my aunts went for a Photoshoot and when she brought the pics home, we all liked them but when she told my Grandma that she wanted one of the pictures she had had framed to be used for her funeral incase she passed away…..my grandma didn’t like that picture at all after that. She didn’t even consider it funny when my aunt said that, she actually wanted to beat her…lol…. (my cucu is from Nyeri…need I say more). But then again, Shikuku lived another 15yrs or more since he dug his grave, and my aunt who did the photoshoot for a funeral pic, is still alive. In short, talking about death won’t kill you.
Your assets will also determine whether or not you can fulfil some of these wishes that you set. I’m insisting especially on death because this is an issue that continues to occur in our soceity and everybody acts shocked when it happens. The only guarantee in life after birth is death.
Transporting your body back home is costly, and it’s a luxury that most of us in the diaspora can’t afford. Truth is when you die, there’s very little your family can do with your body other than bury it. Why spend €4000 that you do not have, to send your corpse back home, then an extra €1000 to facilitate a burial then the kids you leave behind have no school fees? Who will fend for the kids you left behind? We have to start thinking about the future and not just today.
Some of us since we came to the diaspora we became pathological liars, we can’t even differentiate between telling the truth and lying anymore. You know very well, you own nothing other than the clothes on your back, so why call your father in Kenya to tell him about the many mansions and bank account your have? The reason people back home will continue to demand that people in diaspora be brought back home when we can barely afford it, is because we never told our families that we were poor in the first place. You can post pictures of yourself in the most expensive cars and homes in Europe on your facebook and share stories about all your travelling and the designer outfits you buy. Impress your friends and leave them salivating on the social media wishing they were you, but tell your parents the truth.
Of course some of us don’t want our families to worry about us, and I do understand that fact but make sure the vital info is shared. You are an asylum seeker and can’t go home, let your mother know that’s the reason you’re missing her Kamweretho, and don’t start creating stories about how your million euro company needs you in Paris right now. Those lies sound good, but when you die and your family is demanding they come to Germany and inherit your properties and bank accounts, they won’t be pleased to know that you had nothing other than what you were wearing when you were taken home.
The point of this whole post is simply….. tell your parents the truth…..it will save everyone a lot of heart ache, trying to explain to family that someone’s body can’t be transported because there’s no money is hard. How do you tell someone’s father that you can’t raise €4000 to take the corpse home, when the son has millions in the bank? How do you explain why you won’t get the 4k from the son’s account? How do you explain there was no account???
Tafakari hayo the next time you pick your phone to call your mum and dad to tell them how Angela Merkel is your buddy and you took her out……

What Happened to this star

' ... Macaulay Culkin out in Shoreditch

9

MACAULAY CULKIN is far from the cherub-faced burglar-busting Kevin McCallister we remember.

Health fears were growing for the Home Alone star after he was mistaken for a tramp on a night out in London’s Shoreditch last week.
Smoking on a street corner at 2.30am with fingernails painted black, the multi-millionaire looked more like the sequel film’s bag lady.
Sports journalism student Marley Spindley, from Essex, took a picture of his pal Drew with his arm around Macaulay.

Kids' fave ... Macaulay in Home Alone

Marley said: “I didn’t recognise him at first — I thought it was some homeless guy who was scrounging a smoke.
“We had a brief chat with him and his accent was American. It was only then that Drew asked him if he was Macaulay Culkin. Even then I wasn’t convinced. I’m no expert, but he didn’t seem all there.”
Fellow sports media student Drew added: “You would never have thought it was the same person who appeared in Home Alone.
“We chatted for about five minutes and he said he was in London seeing friends though he was vacant, speaking very quietly and mellow. He looked spaced out.
“You’d have thought he was a down-and-out, not a famous film star.”
Macaulay, who is over from the US on holiday, said when he was 14 that he was quitting acting after amassing an estimated £11million.
He married actress RACHEL MINER in 1998, divorced four years later and went out with MILA KUNIS for eight years before they split in 2010. He was arrested in the US in 2004 for possession of marijuana and Alprazolam and Clonazepam anti-depressants and given three one–year suspended jail sentences.
Last year Macaulay denied American magazine reports claiming he was hooked on heroin.
He was on better form in Bristol on Wednesday, appearing on stage at boat club Thekla with music pal ADAM GREEN for a cover of BEACH BOYS track Kokomo.
Shame it’s the wrong time of year for White Christmas, he was decent at that.

The former child star sparked fears for his wellbeing  when he was snapped in New York.
He cut a stick-thin figure and appeared pale as he wandered around the Big Apple and posed with fans.
However, a spokesperson for the Home Alone actor, 31, insists he’s “in perfectly good health”.
ET Online — which published the photos — suggested his weight loss was for a role in upcoming British military flick Service Man.
But the actor’s publicist has denied his involvement in the film that's reportedly set to star Plan B and Martin Clunes.
Macaulay’s life since finding fame with Home Alone has been anything but plain sailing.

Skinny ... Macaulay poses with a fan

Guillermo Bosch / INFphoto.com

He sued his parents for not handling his movie earnings fairly and divorced his childhood sweetheart Rachel Miner in 2002, having married her at the age of 17. He embarked on a relationship with actress Mila Kunis that year, but split with her in 2010.
In 2004, he was arrested for possession of marijuana and two controlled substances in Oklahoma City, receiving three suspended prison terms, a small fine, and compulsory enrolment into a drug treatment programme.
mpu
Macaulay testified at Michael Jackson's child molestation trial in 2005, having befriended the pop icon after featuring in the pop star's video for Black Or White.
Macaulay claimed he had slept in Jacko's bedroom on multiple occasions, but insisted nothing untoward happened and referred to the charges as "absolutely ridiculous".
In 2008, Macaulay's sister Dakota was killed when she was run down by a car in Los Angeles after stepping out into its path.

The 31-year-old’s spokeswoman blasted the allegations as “ridiculously fictitious” and “insulting”.
US publication the National Enquirer reported that Culkin is hooked on heroin and highly addictive painkiller oxycodone.
The story also claimed he had turned his New York flat into a drugs den where he gets high with friends or by himself.
But Culkin’s spokeswoman Michelle Bega said: “The report in the National Enquirer that Macaulay Culkin is addicted to heroin and assorted hallucinogenics is not only categorically without merit but it is also impossibly and ridiculously fictitious.”
Ms Bega went on to say the article was “destructive and insulting” to the star.

Healthier ... Macaulay Culkin

The Enquirer alleged Culkin started using drugs more frequently after his split from long-term girlfriend Mila Kunis 18 months ago.
She is now dating Ashton Kutcher — and we told yesterday how the pair jetted to Bali for a romantic holiday.
A source said to be a close friend is said to have told the Enquirer: “Macaulay Culkin is hooked on drugs and it’s killing him.
“He’s been hooked for a year and a half and his drug of choice is either heroin or oxycodone.
“Mac is surrounding himself with junkies and lowlifes. It’s a real tragedy.”

Film fame ... Culkin hit the big time as a kid with Home Alone

The source also claimed Culkin suffered a near-overdose, adding: “Fortunately he didn’t need to call 911 and the near-OD was kept quiet among his pals. But Mac got very sick.”
The claims come after Culkin was seen looking gaunt and unwell in February.
Reports at the time said the 5ft 7in star had slimmed down to just 7st 6lbs.
Culkin is best known for playing Kevin McCallister in the Home Alone films. His childhood success failed to translate into an adult Hollywood career and he now DJs in clubs around the Big Apple.

so sad